http://www.sleepdeprivedmum.com/2015/03/my-survivor.html?spref=fb about how her daughter is coping after she lost her brother.
My children have coped remarkably well. We talk of Ethan and there are many "Do you remember when Ethan did..." and "Ethan would have loved that".
I dont mind talking about Ethan, I talk about him a lot and about what happened. I think I could see for a long time that Ethan would not live to be a teenager, perhaps I had been preparing myself for his death for longer than I realised. Maybe it is a case that as I have other children to care for I just "get on with it".
I have my moments, still waking up and thinking he is still here is something I have cope with at least a couple of times in the week.
Sometimes I will think I am ok and then like yesterday in the middle of "Do you remember when Ethan" conversation I was having with my man I suddenly stopped and said "Lets change the subject". It wasnt a bad memory, just for that moment the realisation that he is not with us was too stark.
In my head Ethan is 5, he will be forever nearly four but in my mind he gets older like his friends do. I picture him in my head as 3 but think of him as my 5 year old.
As time has gone on I have realised I dont want to mark the day he died. It is a memory that no one wants to really remember about anyone. We didnt mark it last year or discuss it and I spent the day with friends being I hope "normal".
Ethans birthday we marked last year with sparklers and perhaps may do the same year if the children want to.
For me this October I will be thinking of my 6 year old, forever 3.
We move forward with happy times and happy memories and carry him in our hearts.