We have already gone through first brthdays without him, first Christmas, winter, spring and summer yet that day is the day I dread most.
Life is carrying on as it always does, and I have a happy little family. We all talk about Ethan often and he is never far from our thoughts.
However, some days it is hard for me to think of anything else.
I still dream of Ethan and I hope I always will, however every now and then it will be a bad dream. I dreamt the other night that I watched my Ethan flatline in front of me. That his body was still warm and I was able to bring him back by talking to him but he died again. I woke up feeling like he had just died all over again.
I still find it hard to understand that he really has gone and I will not see him again. The only time I see him happy playing and laughing is in my dreams. Let them be happy dreams.
We are all doing great really, and life is continuing but there are some days when it is all so consuming.